Burning Man 2018














...was a foundling, left on the doorstep of the Mansion during the final gasp of the American movie musical…Her first words were: “Papa…can…you…hear…me?”


Widely hailed in her native country of Belgium as a key crossover artist, Hrit catapulted into public consciousness during her teenage years and became regarded by many as the Flemish Lowland’s version of Shakira. Wide-eyed and fame hungry, Hrit emigrated to Las Vegas where she landed a comprehensive worldwide contract including a 2-album recording deal, branded merchandise with distribution points at every adult arcade in the greater Southern Nevada area, and a corporate sponsorship with the nation’s leading motel operator to create a new, extended-stay RV park – Hritel 8. Following a handshake to secure her first walk-on role in a made-for-TV mini-series about Agatha Christie, Hrit was devastated to discover that her landlord/talent agent falsified every contract she signed since paddle boating to America.

That was 12 years ago. Penniless and pantless in the desert, Hrit gamely landed on her feet in the service of Beverley Falzone-Buzukhov, where her joie de vivre made her invaluable to the family – and to Beverley in particular.

Hrit’s stateside debut EP, Hrits & Misses: A Best-Of Collection, will soon be available exclusively for download at falzonebuzukhov.ru. She continues to pursue a career in the performing arts and has strong expectations for a cameo on Season 6 of Downton Abbey, for which she is always rehearsing.

   


Practically a legend in the Valley for his eager devotion to the Falzone-Buzukhov household, Ripley serves as Evgeny Alfonso Buzukhov’s manservant.

Having fruitlessly pursued an advanced degree in Hotel Management, Ripley was installed for several years as a clerk in a housing property that catered to seasonal workers in the wind farms of Ashtabula. The local depression – sparked by the Great Calm of 1996 combined with debilitating symptoms caused by Wind Turbine Syndrome – forced Ripley to expand his career horizon.

Lured to Las Vegas by the promise of a lucrative contract with a condominium resort, Ripley found himself locked into a situation resembling indentured servitude. Several years went badly.

Ripley’s fortunes rapidly changed when he began his service in the Falzone Buzukhov household, where he currently implements the theories introduced to him during the first half of the first semester of his short-lived degree program. His loyalty to the family is fierce, and his dedication to the mansion is assured by his desperate love for Hrit, Beverley’s handmaiden.


In the nearly two decades since Evgeny Alfonso Buzukhov – affectionately known by many as Alfonso or Alfie – assumed responsibility as head-of-household, he has distinguished himself among Las Vegas’ first families for his unparalleled hospitality.

Rumors circulated with regards to ulterior motives behind his open door policy; it is said that this self-educated man relies on a regular influx of international and eccentric guests to cover for his own lack of worldly experience. What’s more, Mr. Buzukhov is a frequent target of whisper campaigns that paint him as an eccentric recluse.

On the contrary, however, Mr. Buzukhov has never hidden himself behind closed doors. His affability is confirmed to a man, and the vitality of nightlife to which he is dedicated is the origin of several newer family institutions, including Mansion Music and the Neue Society Dancers.

One rumor that unfortunately does have an element of truth to it emanates from his dedication to spirits. His drinking has not yet cast a shadow on the mansion’s operations, but things can get pretty upside down after he’s knocked a few back.

   


Perpetually unlucky in love, Beverley Falzone-Buzukhov remains ever the optimist: she has been engaged seven times – three of those to the same man. Snaps for consistency.

Beverley is as humble as she is a keen fashionista. Upon first glance, most think “Oh, she’s rich.” But never let the sequins onesies or chiffon gowns or perfectly sculpted calves deter you: Beverley is rich in the pocketbook and in the heart. With a deep level of devotion, she has immersed herself in numerous pursuits outside of the mansion, primarily a charity of unquestionable efficacy. Beverley has a long-standing and sincere passion for persuading others to roll up their sleeves and help the less fortunate. This philanthropic way of life carries over to the mansion where she endlessly urges all guests and residents to be the best, most inebriated version of themselves possible.

In rare moments when she can find downtime, Beverley likes to browse websites about horses with links to other websites about horses, play an intense game of Uno or Clue or Trivial Pursuit, and attempt to steal thunder from her brother Alfonso in every way imaginable.

   


DJ Wiki (Hacienda “Hackie” Hall) is a fourth generation circus DJ, revolutionary club artist, and dedicated to the cause of full disclosure and transparency in Electronic Dance Music.

During the period of 1917-1918, the Hall and the Falzone families lived together in Chihuahua, Mexico. Following years of performing wherever they could as gypsy travelers, the Falzones came upon the Hacienda of former revolutionary Francis “Francisco” Hall and resided there for 18 months. It was here where the Halls – especially Hackie’s great grandmother Fabiana – finessed the Falzone family’s roving antics into formal shows, which they called Cantos. Fabiana’s musical precociousness became the score to the Falzone’s Cantos, developing a new sonic blend of circus screamers such as “Sobre la Olas” and Mansion Mariachi (a rural form of Mariachi music that Fabiana made accessible to urbanites).

Nearly one century later, Hackie carries on this family tradition as DJ Wiki. Ever the freedom fighter, Hackie does not demand an exorbitant fee (or any fee at all) for her talents in the mansion, proclaiming she’s doing it for the greater good of the party. You see, Hackie might indeed be commercially recognizable for her paper mache Chihuahua mask (a tribute to her Ecuadorian heritage and remembrance of the War of the Chihuahuas), but a gimmicky push-play disc jockey she is not. With connections to contemporary radicals including Edward Snowden, Julian Assange and Justin Bieber, Hackie is the real deal. Most recently, she served as Assange’s resident DJ in the Ecuadorian embassy in London. She was present during the notorious embassy “high tea” between Assange and Lady Gaga and she knows exactly where Bieber buys his eggs. Snowden continues to send her classified information about certain world leaders (e.g. Putin), Hollywood celebrities (e.g. Brangelina), and world leaders who are also Hollywood celebrities (e.g. Beyonce).

With hair full of secrets, DJ Wiki has so much intelligence on pop culture icons and international dignitaries that she makes even the CIA look like a preschool classroom. Do you seek the truth? Then seek out her twitter page.

           



Sophie is a documentary film-maker and writer/director/editor of the Mansion’s in-house reality TV show, “Nocturnal Transmissions”. As she is part of the Neue Society, none of it will ever be broadcast, except into the rooms of the Mansion, sandwiched between re-runs of The Battleship Potemkin and the Bruce Willis film, The Fifth Element.



...aka the Copper Queen, descendant of the copper-mine millionarie and founder of Las Vegas, W. A. Clark. She is famous for one thing only…a Stradavarius violin with a wood-carved image of Joan of Arc on it, which she obsesses over but never plays.



One of the famous Lis, Chinese herbalists and people smugglers.



Cleaning lady and resident, reluctant clairvoyant

She claims her extraordinary abilities – with a broom as well as the Tarot - have something to do with the presence of invisible creatures., half animal, half human. She can’t clearly explain their origin except to say they were burned to death in a fire, in San Francisco, on April 18 1906, at precisely 6.47pm. She says these creatures give her information, mainly about people. But they do it as if in a film. The life of everyone standing in front of her is like a film to her, from birth to death. But changing "what was written on the nitrite film stock of generations is beyond her power”. (LV Sun). And in any case, she predicted World War III would begin on November 12, 2010 and that Bulgaria would win both the 2006 and 2010 World Cups. You will see her quite often during the evening picking up discarded clothes, mopping up bath water etc. Please be patient with her as she is legally blind, but thankfully, when working in the Mansion, heavily disguised.


Leroy and Lafayette were born just one minute apart on a sunny Chicago day, but as these tales go, they were separated at birth due to extenuating circumstances. Both were taken in and raised by families in the city who loved them. But here the coincidences begin.

At the age of 3, each of the twins were gifted their first pair of tap shoes: Leroy won his pair at a block party raffle and Lafayette was gifted a pair from an uncle. Throughout elementary school, both of them would throw fits if they couldn’t wear their tap shoes to class. In middle school, each of them won their respective school’s talent shows. Their first girlfriends were both on the swim team and they both got dumped for boys on the basketball team. Both graduated and began relishing the bachelor lifestyle in Chicago. Leroy started as a youth tap dance instructor and Lafayette worked at one of those family friendly restaurants where the staff sings and dances every time someone plays a song on the jukebox. Both of them lit up the world around them. But both of them also had a desire for more.

Eventually, Leroy quit his job as a tap instructor and started inserting himself into the underground tap scene, signing up for tap battles whenever he had the chance, hoping a first place medal every now and again would fill the unexplainable void. Lafayette put in his notice at the restaurant and began performing for fairs in the Chicago suburbs, taking home small cash prizes some nights and oversized stuffed animals other nights, but never taking home a feeling of whole satisfaction.

After winning a record-breaking number of tap battles on the Midwest underground tap circuit, Leroy’s next geographical area to conquer was the Southwestern United States. He quit his job as a tap instructor and four short days after moving to Pahrump, Nevada, he met Alfonso at a tap battle. Alfonso immediately became interested when he saw Leroy in action; he had never seen someone with such fast feet and Alfonso knew he needed Leroy for the shows he was crafting. With the promise of a future in performance and a loving family away from his adopted family, Alfonso convinced Leroy to move in that very evening.

The same day, while vacationing in the Windy City, Alfonso’s sister Beverley went to a carnival at Millennium Park. Bouncing around on four wooden boxes was Lafayette. Beverley quickly became heated while watching him – a tiny crush developing. This was a common occurrence for Beverley, she was known for becoming enamored in mere seconds. But after years of false leads, she’s learned to quickly brush these feelings off – unless the subject of interest is also a burgeoning talent, then there’s no getting rid of her. Beverley made Lafayette an offer he couldn’t refuse and they took the next plane back to Las Vegas. Beverley couldn’t wait to rub her talented find in Alfonso’s face.

Both cars pulled up to the mansion at the same time. Alfonso and Beverley stepped out first, eager to tell the other about the incredible tap dancing guru they had found. Then stepped out Leroy and Lafayette. Not two moments passed before they locked eyes. Beverley fainted. Alfonso poured a scotch. And Leroy and Lafayette instantly knew the ‘more’ they had been looking for was right in front of them.

A couple years have passed and you’d never know the boys didn’t grow up together. They’re always playing pranks and causing a ruckus like boys do when they’re young – but Leroy and Lafayette are just making up for lost time. They’re double the trouble for the rest of the Family, but double the charm for the mansion’s guests who watch them every evening in Vegas Nocturne.


Angelina and Magda, The San Andreas sisters, avant fashionistas with a penchant for water sports.

The San Andreas sisters are not really sisters at all, but distant cousins – Angelina Falzone-Klein and Magda Buzukhov-McQueen - raised in the Mansion together and home-schooled by Major Frodo Rosenbaum and select guest tutors. It was during one of the Major’s lectures on the significance of military uniforms and insignia on world fashion, specifically underwear and hats, that the sisters had the idea to create their own in-house fashion label – Goldfish Glam – specializing in club outfits and versatile swimwear/thongs.

Most of the stunning clothes worn by Mansion participants in the Nocturne Dance Club have been designed by the SASS, as Angelina and Magda are known. And you cannot gain admittance to the Mansion’s Day Club – As the World (Noc)Turnes – unless you are wearing one of their GG bikinis or GG Buzyone budgie smugglers™.



Ever since he was a wee dragon freshly hatched with a Four of Clubs in his claws, Piff always knew he possessed extraordinary talents. Growing up as a dragon is hard enough, but being gifted with mystic capabilities is another level of hardship, especially at school. Kids can be mean. Luckily, Piff never let his uniqueness slow him down; instead, he embraced the qualities that made him different and now he’s a Las Vegas headliner. Take that, Jimmy Schmirken.

But the road here wasn’t traveled overnight. After years of schlepping around London’s grimiest venues, Piff began to make a name for himself. It was during the Edinburgh Fringe Festival of 2009 that Piff sallied forth to rescue a small white Chihuahua from the clutches of the deep, dark City of Dundee in Scotland (which is why Mr. Piffles has an accent when he barks). Since then, Mr. Piffles has been a sidekick to Piff’s heroism and assists in charming the damsels.

Piff and Mr. Piffles had their big break during an appearance on Penn & Teller’s hit show Fool Us, which led to global awareness and activism for the rights of all kinds of dragons. It also led to a gig as the opening act for Mumford & Sons on their 17-date UK tour. And more than 12 million YouTube hits. And the opportunity to perform for hundreds of thousands of civilians in notorious venues such as Radio City Music Hall and the Sydney Opera House.

Inevitably, the gregarious Evgeny Alfonso Buzukhov caught wind of this enchanted creature. After more than a dozen offers, Alfonso finally drew up a contract that seemed pleasing to Piff and Mr. Piffles, and the magical performing pair can now be seen throughout the evening at Rose. Rabbit. Lie. as the official pets the Family Falzone-Buzukhov.


Winthrop Withington is a wearer of many hats. From being the half-brother of Vegas Nocturne’s full-sibling hosts Alfonso and Beverley, to the keeper of the Flazone-Buzukhov Family Traditions (albeit, he loses track of them more than anyone else), to the occasional goldfish whisperer. But it is his duty as the Master of Bottle Service that invigorates him the most.

When Alfonso took over as head of household 20 years ago, Winthrop took it as his opportunity to spend more time with his half-siblings and he moved in with them. Following an awkward make out session with Beverley, some say Winthrop began to slowly lose his mind. However, it was this descent into madness that led to his inspiring dreams of bottle service moments and nightlife decadence that Las Vegas is now notorious for.

Winthrop’s social life has flourished as well since the mansion opened. For the better part of the last 20 years, his only reliable friend was Alfonso’s manservant Ripley. The two are still raising hell every chance they get; please ignore them if they approach you with a microwave. He’s also been trying his luck with à la carte burlesque, but that’s something he hasn’t mastered just yet. Nonetheless, you better believe if you order a bottle at Rose. Rabbit. Lie., Winthrop will present you with that beacon of liquid in a way unlike any other club in the world.



Glass harpist and armonica player, has a thing about Benjamin Franklin…at times thinks he is Benjamin Franklin.


Resident archivist, philospher & tennis coach

Major Frodo is the illegitimate child of Alisa Zinovyevna Rosenbaum, which should explain everything. Alisa was born in the Buzukhov Mansion in St Petersburg in 1905. After fleeing revolutionary Russia, she went to Hollywood to be a script editor and ‘vacationed’ often in Las Vegas, having illicit sex and writing her most famous novel, Atlas Shrugged, a lot of which is said to be based on life and events in the Vegas version of the Buzukhov Mansion.

He is also a savant – the result of a tennis accident, during which he was hit on the head by an opponent’s racket, several times – and his knowledge of the Mansion and the Neue Society is encyclopaedic.



Great, great, great grand-daughter of Katya Vyacheslava von Plehve, handshake authority and expert in foot archery.


Prophesized to be one of the greatest vocal percussionists and voice virtuosas who ever lived, Butterscotch is profoundly skillful. Heavily influenced by jazz, classical, hip-hop and R&B, Butterscotch incorporates her musical background of piano, guitar and bass into her compositions and performances. Not to mention, she was named the best female beatboxer in the world and makes noises with her mouth that will leave you befuddled.

Butterscotch is often admired for her stints on a few humble television programs, like that one time she was a finalist on “America’s Got Talent” and the time she appeared on that Ellen lady’s show. She’s shared stages with names you may or may not recognize such as Stevie Wonder, Wyclef Jean, Will.I.Am, Earth, Wind & Fire and all sorts of other people and elements.

Her gift of music has taken her all over the world, from Australia to Germany to Hong Kong to Louisville, Kentucky. Inevitably, just a couple years back, she played a gig in Las Vegas. It was at this hole-in-the-wall place on Las Vegas Boulevard that had a fountain bigger than the property. Alfonso, Head of Household, happened to be swiftly passing through on his way from one bar to the next – stopping dead in his tracks at the beautiful sound of a trumpet, and it was then that he saw her.

At this point in his life, Alfonso had been thinking a lot more, thus drinking a lot more, thus thinking a lot more, etc. He was thinking about opening his mansion to the public and drinking to the visions of parties dwelling in his head. A number of talented performers had stumbled across his lap recently, but none with a fervor for music – and music had always been one of the most important parts of Alfonso’s existence. Butterscotch, however, was a one-woman symphony.

After some convincing, thus drinking, thus convincing, etc., Butterscotch agreed to join Alfonso and the Family Falzone-Buzukhov in their mansion to create music. Her sonic prowess mesmerizes the mansion’s guests each evening in Vegas Nocturne and her passion for performing continually inspires the rest of the Family to cherish their own gifts. She might originally be from California, but here she’ll always be home.